I didn't know what to title this post so as much of my life it will remain blank.
Here is a little about knitting....

I have been a felt knitting fool lately. I am getting bags ready for the gallery. I need to keep at least 5 available. I finished the clogs and I will be making a color card to take up there so that customers can special order if they want. I can not make clogs to have in stock because of the size problems. I don't know if they will sell but I know that as I am wearing my clogs they are the best thing I have ever knit! I have to start knitting for the holidays after this week.

My silk lace shawl has been on hold AGAIN because of my work knitting. One day I will get back to it. Will I be like Mr. Magorium, from 'Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium'? I will die when it is finished, just like when he ran out of shoes?

I started a shawl last night. I got the book "Crazy Lace" by Myra Wood. I have loved her work and have wanted to take a class from her for years but I have not gotten the chance. Myra is in my opinion the foremost expert in free form knitting and crochet. I have been amazed at the variety of yarn and colors that seem to blossom from her hands. I tend to follow patterns but I have never been too upset when I have made a mistake. I have always found ways to correct my 'mistake' and move on. Never dwelling too much about it. I, as always, have never given it to my artsy- 'crazy' side and just knit what ever. So I will try.

My project: It is from the hand dyed yarn that was given to me from Linda. Ashley got some of the same yarn and she found out that it is a Silk-cotton blend. Who knew? I love knitting with it, so I deep down knew it had to be more than just a cotton. It is a triangle shawl-or mini shawl depending on how much yarn I have. I was going to knit a scarf out of this colorway for my hairdresser but now it will be come a shawl. I will have pictures soon. I need the shawl to get a bit larger to show the pattern.

If you don't know what "Crazy Lace" is I will give you a brief explanation. It is a self help book for those that are pattern minded. Myra allows you to do anything you want to your project and gives you simple but effective guideline to make sure your project turns out as you expected. She gives you the freedom to make mistakes and fix them with out the pain of frogging. At the same time she also says that if you choose to frog then go right ahead. I have just picked a chart out of the many in the book and just injected it right in to the shawl. Not following a preplanned set of charts and just allowing the pattern to come to me as I knit is just plain fun. No matter what chart I follow this project will look good because I am following the basic pattern for the triangle and I am letting the charts come to me. It is symmetrical so this allows my obsessive/compulsive side to rest and my creative side is just knitting with out fear.

Now on to my personal side of this blog...
The last word of that last sentence is my Kryptonite. Fear. It has struck at me again. Paralyzing me. Making me question all that knew. Can I make the changes necessary for happiness? Will these changes bring happiness. Can I let go of the fear and look past it? It seems to be a wall. That is too large to cross. And I can not see the other side. I don't hear anything from the other side, those sounds that I have heard have been silenced by the nay sayers. Again I am talking in riddles but it is easier... it helps me to think about what is inside my head to make it come out on this virtual paper. I think in so many ways the book 'Crazy Lace' will help me over come this fear. To know that I can move forward, that I don't have to frog back---not just because I don't have to but I don't have the option. That something wonderful can still appear, That my life can still be wonderful! That all the mistakes that could not be corrected and rectified will still have a purposeful place in my soul. That is a good feeling.


And some final thought from Jimmy Buffett
Coast of Carolina, License to Chill 2004

'And the walls that won't come down
We can decorate or climb
Or find some way to get around
Cause I'm still on your side
From the bottom of my heart.'

One day Jimmy, I will meet you and I will know what to say.